No Cover: Scott Walker – Wyeth Digital

No Cover: Scott Walker


Welcome to the inaugural column of NO COVER, a semi-regular rant about the stupid shit politicians say and do while being PAID BY US. It is a sarcastic, angry, profanity laced opinion column that will likely increase your chances of getting you unfriended and earning you new enemies the more you share it. You have been warned!

2012 Republican National Convention: Day 2Now, let’s get down to our subject at hand: Scott Walker, Republican Governor of Wisconsin and Mange-Headed Weasel Provocateur. Scotty’s got a lot of dirt to rant about, not least of which is the most recent headline-grabbing email dump of the John Doe investigation. Instead, I’d rather look at his abdication of his duties as governor of Wisconsin and the trust he has broken with his employers — that would the citizens of Wisconsin.

From Wisconsin congressman Mark Pocan’s (D-2nd District, Wisconsin) official website we learn that Scott “Fuck the Poor” Walker has blatantly ignored missed a deadline to apply for federal money which would have contributed $60,000,000 to fund pre-school education programs. This despite a letter sent to him by Pocan and others urging him to apply for the grant. In the article, we are also reminded of his failure to take other federal grants, including monies for:

  • Medicaid expansion (as a result, we have denied tens of thousands of would-be eligible citizens of health benefits).
  • Broadband Expansion, to help with library, school and government agency access to broadband internet. The shit-canoe actually returned the money we already received!
  • Food Stamp increase. From Pocan’s website:

Recently, Wisconsin ended a program that allowed residents access to increased food assistance paid for by the federal government through "heat-and-eat" programs. As a result of the states’ decision not to increase the amount of heating assistance given to people in poverty, Wisconsin will see cuts in federal Supplemental Nutrition  Assistance Program (SNAP, or food stamps) benefits.

Okay,” you say (if you’re a mouth-breathing troglodyte). “So he has principles and he doesn’t want us in debt at the federal level either.” My, don’t we think we’re smart? Not so fast, Stephen Hawking! Scott Walker’s only principles are Scott Walker! He doesn’t care about debt! If he did, he’d have taken the federal money and cut his deficit. But he didn’t!

The money that Walker has returned or refused from the Federal government is money that Washington has already budgeted and/or spent (see where I’m going with this?) The money that Wisconsin’s Asshole-in-Chief has refused IS OUR MONEY. By denying it, he’s cheating the Wisconsin taxpayer because it’s money WE’VE ALREADY PAID IN TAXES! Just like his shady land deals, and his embezzlement from veterans, Scooter Walker has swindled us out of the benefits of our hard-earned tax dollars!

Now get out there and explain this to whatever brain-dead tree stumps you know that may still call themselves “undecided!” Better yet, share this with the assholes who have “I Stand with Walker” signs or buttons and don’t worry about having to invite them to a BBQ ever again!  And for Christ’s sake, get out and vote!

UPDATE: Walker won the election against the Democratic establishment-picked candidate, and now he’s contemplating a run for the president in 2016. Against that backdrop, Walker just issued his next Wisconsin State Budget. Aside from the beating the most vulnerable among us will take is an overt financial attack against the esteemed University of Wisconsin System and a  subtle clumsy attack at changing the UW’s mission statement. I will address this in an upcoming post. Stay tuned.

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