Uncle Dick: Advice for the Lovelorn #3 – Wyeth Digital

Uncle Dick: Advice for the Lovelorn #3

Uncle-Dick-Portrait-2Originally published: 02-17-2013
Welcome to Uncle Dick’s Advice to the Lovelorn. Seek your romance answers by using the email form to the right, or asking on Facebook. While you’re there, “Like” Uncle Dick on Facebook!

 

Dear Uncle Dick:
My lady wants me to meet her parents for the first time. I want to, but I’m nervous. We’re not a “traditional” couple. I’m from a white middle-class suburban family and in college; she’s from the country and is a Black Angus cow. How can we bridge the divide?
~ Not Usually This Sane

Dear NUTS:
Believe it or not, this is more common than you would think these days! The trick is to approach this situation with delicacy. You must realize that her parents may have been raised to believe there is a fundamental difference between whites and black angus, which should be acknowledged without taking any bull. Really. Don’t take any bull. They’re big, strong and will knock you flat on your ass! Also, avoid the color red if at all possible, especially if you choose to dress in a stylish cape. I would also recommend a vegetarian diet. Good luck, you’ll need it!
~ U.D.

Dear Uncle Dick:
Brawwk, buk, buk, buk, bawwwk?
~ Kissably Fantastic Chicken

Dear KFC:
Buk buk, cluck, coo, bawka, bawka, brak. Rrrrrruka dooda DOOOO!!!!!
~ U.D.

Dear Uncle Dick:
My roommate has started dating a guy, and he spends almost every night here. I think its because his own place is such a pig stye. He eats all the food in the fridge, drinks from the carton, and at night I can hear the two of them going at it like rabbits in heat. I’ve thought about saying something, but don’t know how to ask to join in the fun. Any ideas?
~ Your Own Wants Signify Amoré

Dear YOWSA:
Is that you, Clarissa?!? Fine, I’ll quit drinking from the carton! Yeesh!

(Oh, and we’ll hang a sock on the doorknob when it’s cool to jump in!)
~ U.D.

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